The adventure begins.

After spending 2 months in the NICU with my baby.. through countless ups and downs, such as Anemia, Braddicardias, Apneas, Edema, a slight blood infection, 2 months of gavage feedings, Jaundice..etc.. we got to bring out little princess home.. and the fun began!


Spending time with bravery watching her grow and learn new things is the most rewarding exciting thing I could possibly think of .. the first smile... rolling over .. holding up her head.. giggling. The fist time she went on the swings at the park ..seeing the look on her face, the joy, it was like experiencing all these things for the first time again...!


One of our favorite times is bedtime, not just cause I know peace and quiet is coming..but the bedtime feeding is such and intimate experience watching her look up at me with love and adoration..Even though we could never breastfeed (which broke my heart) I pumped breast-milk for her, for 4 months! Its honestly the best time of my life. I cant stop taking pictures of her cause shes purely and truly beautiful. I cant wait to see what will come next.!


First month

Second month

Third month

Fourth month

A Suprise!...

April 24th 2008 I had the surprise of my life. I THOUGHT I was having some braxton hicks, as Bravery wasn't due for another 2 months (June 28th 2008). But when the contractions didn't go away but actually became stronger and closer together I decided to get my hubby to take me to the hospital to get things checked out just in case. So I jumped in the shower, didn't pack a bag, cause I figured we would be sent home.. on the way to the hospital we stopped at Tim Hortons! When we got there we found out I was already 3 cm dilated. The doctors were a little bit worried because I was only 31 weeks pregnant and Bravery had a lot of growing and developing left to do. So they gave me to shots of steroids to help her lungs develop faster to give her the best chance of survival. They prepared me for the fact that she would probably only be 2lbs, would not breathe on her own, and might not even make it... then we waited......and waited all the while my contractions were continuing...(not the most comfortable thing ever).. the nurses gave me morphine for the pain but that only made me sick..so we tried Fentynol which was AMAZING (looking back I do wish I had gone completely drug free) ... and I went to sleep.

April 26th.. the doctor on call came in to check me and I was now 8 Cm's dilated. Almost time for baby. I was feeling a little nervous because I didn't know if my baby would be OK or what to expect. Thankful Parents and younger sister, who live out of town, got to the hospital around 10 in the morning, and it was very comforting having them there with me. At 12:00 I was fully ready to go... and shortly thereafter the pushing began. I had Brandon (my husband) in the room with me, my mother, and my mother-in-law, plus 8 or 9 other people including 3 Ob's and a pediatric doc, and some nurses.. BUSY BUSY room! My Yoni hanging out for the world to see.. cured me of any shyness in that department.

The pushing part was not what I would call fun but it only lasted about 12 minutes. I brought my beautiful baby girl, Bravery Irelynd Ruddock, into the world! She was 4lbs 5oz. We were happy to see that she was breathing on her own. But I was upset because I didn't get to hold her she was immediately taken to the NICU to stabilize her. And Breastfeeding was not established early which actually lead to her not ever latching on :(. She needed an IV with antibiotics and a heart monitor and a CPAP machine to remind her to breath.. I finally got to see Bravery about an Hr later. I instantly fell in love with my little drama queen, who had so abruptly burst into the world.

Now I just had to come to terms with the fact that we had a long road ahead before we could bring our little preemie princess home!

A Pregnancy Story!

When I found out I was pregnant I was overjoyed at the prospect of meeting the child that was growing in my belly. At 6 weeks gestation I could hardly wait for the first little kicks and flutters and couldn't wait to see my belly grow! There was so much to look forward to in the weeks ahead.

I began searching all the online baby forums and sites to make sure I kept up with the latest news and theories of how to raise you baby the best way possible, how to have "the happiest baby on the block", but I knew in my heart that I would find my own way. We would learn what worked best for out family and for our baby. Happy to say she is the happiest baby around! lol and we love her.
My 20 week ultrasound was amazing, watching Bravery stretch out in my tummy was the best moment in my life, up till then of course. My husband was thrilled to see his little girl (didnt know she was a girl at that point) and shed a single tear, which of course melted my heart and made me fall even more in love with him.
My pregnancy was not ideal though. I had insane morning sickness.. I'm not too sure who named it that but they have it all wrong..because the sickness I had was morning till night. I could not even keep down a glass of water. My doctor finally gave my Diclectin ...what a life saver! It definitely helped with the constant vomiting....(poor me) after about week 25 of pregnancy I was able to curb the morning sickness and started to feel wonderful. I have to say being pregnant for that week was the best I've ever felt! Theres nothing like feeling little feet jab into your ribs haha) Sadly that only lasted a week before the horrendous heartburn set in..which lasted until the day after my little angel was born.! The only cure that I found was to ingest a teaspoon of mustard! :) Gross but it worked!
Honestly though I can tell you that I miss being pregnant terribly.. it was the best time of my life despite the sickness. I felt so close to my child, and so much love for her its indescribable! Only a mother knows the bond that I speak of. I truly miss feeling Bravery move around inside of me. ... The fun part was still to come.. surprises beyond belief....