Motherhood Shmotherhood!

What is it with people and thinking moms are just about picking up toys and changing diapers. Did we lose who we were when we chose to breed? Apparently in the minds of the friends we used to have this is just it.

But motherhood is so much more, than the frazzled sleep deprived women that we sometimes appear to be. I'm sure my daughter would attest to this fact, if she could string together the words to make a sentence. She would tell you that momma is funny and playful, and clearly thankful for the privilege of bing a mom. And its worth all the drama and stress that sometimes accompanies the job of being somebody's mom.

Motherhood to me is filled with the joy of rocking your child to sleep, and watching her eyes grow heavy. Its like watching the sun break through the clouds where you can actually see the sun rays, and its a beautiful moment of peace and joy! Kissing boo boos better, checking for monsters under the bed, Keeping little tummy's full. Its hard work but worth it. Its pain and happiness rolled into one.

What is it to other mommas?? Here is what some of my fellow mothers said;

"Miracilous, bliss, pure happiness, confusion, stressful, beautiful, patient, creative, hard, easy, hormonal lol, and the greatest gift i've ever had the honor to receive" - Mary

"Motherhood is re-living childhood! It's doing what you think is best for the life you created. It's having patience that you never knew existed in yourself. Every time I teach something I'm learning it myself. Motherhood to me is my life, and I love it. Every day feels like a new chapter and it just keeps getting better" -Jennifer

"The part of me that was missing" - Kerrieann

Lets break the stereotypical motherhood mold and just be women who happen to have chosen to have babies and children. And lets show the world that its full of joy..

In the words of my 22month old B " I luff oo" hehe. That pretty much sums it up.

Adventures in Trying to Conceive

1 cycle down.. 3 negative pregnancy tests, and 1 disheartened momma!

Time for round two of trying to conceive. Goal: get pregnant while keeping sex fun! It would seem that trying for a baby can lead to sex being a job "gotta make a baby". The old "Its time! My temperature is right!" routine is not going to happen in this house!

I refuse to get dragged into the boring *have to have sex* trying for baby rut!

Its not like we are facing infertility problems here. We have a 21 month old daughter already, so we are truly blessed!

I will say when I took the pregnancy test my heart dropped :( so sad.. but hey I thought "We can have fun trying again! " (Keeping positive, searching out that silver lining) I knew that all this meant was we have to have more sex! How could that be a bad thing.

Well .. then I started thinking.. maybe we will schedule our sex? STOP.. not going down that road!

But honestly there is a bit of planning when you are trying to conceive. There is a small window to catch that egg!

The facts are "normal" fertile couples will have a 20-30% chance to conceive each cycle. Chances are it will take 3-5 cycles to achieve pregnancy! :)

So now Im thinking what can I do to improve my chances??

1) Improve diet- well I have already started taking prenatal vitamins. but there is that nagging chip and chocolate addiction that keeps me in that "overweight" category. Not good when you are trying to get pregnant. Soo Step one.. eat more healthy foods!

2) Exercise- Well considering it is winter time and I run a daycare It is nearly impossible to go for a run, or even an intense walk! (I can see the little ones toddling after me in the snow..slipping..falling..tears.. No thanks! ) sigh.. enter the "wii fit"! Goal : work out for a min 30mins a day!

3) Have lots of FUN and Exciting sex... orgasms do indeed improve your chances of getting pregnant seeing as the muscle contractions can bring the ..you know.. (whispers the word sperm).. into the uterus and closer to the egg! YAY! LOL

This month we will be buying an ovulation predictor kit, seeing as we were not successful last time.. should be interesting to use.

I have scaled the internet looking for tips to get pregnant.

My favorite piece of advise on the above site "No douching" Ha ha ha umm yeah you don't have to worry about that! Yikes!

Ive tried all the tricks .. yes Ive spent time lying in bed with pillows under my butt to help gravity do its job! Theres a sight!

At least I have not resorted to doing the "Locust" hehe.. like I even could!

This month I really hope to get a positive test result and in 10ish months time end up with a wiggly little bundle of joy! And I really want to have fun trying! The adventure continues...

Facebook tries to ban Breastfeeding Group!

Facebook is a great social networking site. It helps you to connect to friends and family members. There are lots of groups for common interest where people can connect and share ideas or support one another. One group has been targeted to be shut down. Why? Was it a hate group? Did it depict violence? No! It is a breastfeeding support group! Apparently Facebook is of the mind that Breastfeeding is "obscene and sexually explicit"!

How can something so natural and obviously beneficial for both mother and child be classed as obscene? And yet groups such as "I Love Sex" are allowed to remain on the social networking site? It would seem that breasts are indeed not obscene unless of course there is a small human attached to it! So disgusting!

Here is the press release for the group. Feel Free to share with your local media outlets!

PRESS RELEASE

5th February 2010
For immediate release

FACEBOOK TO BAN BREASTFEEDING ADVOCACY GROUP FOR "OBSCENITY"

Lactivist group faces termination from Facebook after embarrassing the social networking site in high profile media awareness campaign last year.

The group of almost 250,000 members faces threats of removal after a media blitz that chastised the social networking site for its draconian policies toward breastfeeding mothers. The campaign, which garnered national and international attention in over 25 languages from various media outlets around the world, was featured on CNN, CBS News and the Dr. Phil show among others. Members believe the current threat is directly related to the embarrassment caused to Facebook’s bosses.

Administrators of the group, "Hey Facebook, Breastfeeding is Not Obscene! (Official petition to Facebook)" were told by the social networking site that the group was in violation of copyright infringement policies. When pressed for details by the group’s admin, Facebook responded by changing the accusation to say the group was posting nudity or sexually explicit material and sending harassing messages to members.

"We have no idea what they're talking about and they won't explain the charges," said Gillian Joseph, an admin of the group, living in Edinburgh, Scotland. "We checked our pages but can't see any copyright infringements, and we've certainly sent no harassing messages. Now they're saying it's because we're uploading obscene photos." Ms. Joseph says she believes the harassment is due to the social networking site being embarrassed that such a large number of people are against their policies of branding breastfeeding photos as "sexually explicit content".

The support and advocacy group, which boasts over 247,000 members from all over the world, wishes to normalize the sight of breastfeeding mothers and children. It currently contains over 4,500 discussion threads on parenting topics, and over 5,700 photos – though some of these have already been removed by Facebook.

"To shut the group down would not only end valuable support, but give a message to the world that breastfeeding babies are somehow obscene. It's just absurd,” said Debra Balcaen, a Winnipeg resident and administrator of the group.

"It is unfortunate and hypocritical that Facebook's administration has targeted this breastfeeding advocacy group for alleged violations when at the same time they happily endorse sexually explicit material from third party applications and paid advertisements."

END


NOTES FOR EDITORS:

Initial emails from Facebook were sent on 2/2/10 to the administrators of the group. All responses were handled by Gill Joseph, and the full email exchange can be provided upon request.

During previous campaigns, articles about the group have featured in The Washington Post and Fox News in the U.S., in The Guardian and The Times in the U.K., and in The Globe and Mail and The Ottawa Citizen in Canada.

The group has administrators in Canada, USA, UK and Australia who can be contacted on request, but main contacts for the media are:

Gill Joseph email: kamagrian@blueyonder.co.uk
phone: +44 7800 987 844

Stephanie Muir email: babieslovemilk@yahoo.ca
phone: +1 613 761 9109

Please note that email may be a better first contact choice, as both women are mothers of young children.

At the Montréal Breastfeeding Challenge in October 2008, with Seb and our daughters, Anna and Sophie. Our photo appeared in the 'Journal de Montréal', a major newspaper in a city of 3.5 million. If Montrealers can handle it, then why can't Facebook ?

Co-sleeping!

Our daughter often starts off the night in her own bed, she recently switched to a toddler bed, and the transition has gone fairly smoothly..(barring the sudo-cream incident when Bravery covered her walls and face, and the Vaseline incident which took about 2 days to wash out of her hair, and of course the fact that she pulls her clothes out of her dresser daily.) but besides that its been great!It has also brought us back to our earlier habit of co-sleeping :)

Co-sleeping is GREAT because it makes breastfeeding super easy, lets parents get more sleep, and promotes parent child bonding.

Since Bravery is now able to climb out of her bed, walk across the hallway, and climb into our bed. It is great since we don't have to get up and respond to her crying in the night, she just comes to us for a snuggle and comfort. and most nights she sleeps with us from about 3 am until we get up around 7:30. There really is nothing like sleeping with a baby. Sleeping with a wiggly toddler in a small queen size bed is another thing! Little feet lodged in your ribs is less than comfortable. Investing in a King size bed is not really an option right now, so we have set up a little bit of a make-shift "co-sleeping cot" Our mattress is on the floor and so we have a pile of pillows on the floor beside our bed that once she has fallen back asleep she is moved to. It is really nice to have her in our room with us, (at least part time) we know she is safe, and also she knows she is loved.

Lots of parents worry that if they co-sleep with their children sex will go by the way side, but this is simply not the case! It is not to difficult to move your child to another room etc, when the mood strikes, or perhaps the more creative option is BE CREATIVE! There are other more exciting places around the house to have relations! : ) Co-sleeping should not get in the way or your marital relations.

"Co-sleepers do it in the shower!" hehe. ;)

I mentioned a few benefits of co-sleeping above. One of the greatest maybe be that it reduces the risk of SIDS ( a dreaded "word" for most parents). This is because the mother is closer to her baby and more aware of him/her. For instance its easier to monitor your child's breathing if they are laying next to you, then if they were in another room all together.

Many people think that co-sleeping actually contributes to SIDS but this is only the case when parents go to bed with their babies, while drunk and on drugs, and that is just not something that happens in most "peaceful parenting" or "attachment parenting" homes. Of course there are precautions to take such as, keeping heavy comforters or quilts and pillows away from the baby, making sure the bed is firm, and taking steps to make sure the baby does not fall on the floor.

There are lots of options and products available for co-sleeping parents today.

~ The First Years Close and Secure Sleeper and other similar products

~ co-sleeper bassinets

And there are variations of co-sleeping, be it with your child in your bed, or in a bassinet beside your bed, or even in there own crib in your room.

I would call my self a part time co-sleeper. But I think the most important thing is to respond to your baby when they cry out for you, to always be there for them, and to make sure that all their needs are met. Parenting and caring for your children does not end at bed time. We must continue this job 24/7 : ) and Co-sleeping is an easy way to do that!

Open your minds..

Our world is made up of many different cultures. Different languages, different foods, different clothing, and different parenting styles. Here in Canada you don't even have to go to another country to get a different culture. Our cities are very diverse! This is a wonderful thing :)

I think the best part is learning different styles of parenting...

Our western culture seems to promote making our babies independent, where as most of the rest of the world seems to embrace attachment parenting.

Studies have come to show that this style of parenting is better for a child emotionally but also perhaps on a deeper level even physically and chemically.

"Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate. Is it therefore possible that infants who endure many nights or weeks of crying-it-out alone are actually suffering harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent implications on the development of sections of their brain?"

see the link for full article- http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

I urge parents to really think about and research what the decisions they make when it comes to caring for and raising there children. Many parents don't even think about these things.

Perhaps it is important that we open our eyes to the other cultures and ideas around us and see what we can learn, and how we can improve the quality of life for our children, improve our relationships with them, and maybe in doing so we can even improve our society as a whole.

All that being said I am very excited and looking forward to the new Documentary "Babies" That will be coming out April 16th 2010!!

Please watch this preview!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=db3Fifi8JiY

It will interesting to see how parenting styles differ around the globe :)

Back from looong Hiatus

Well it has been a long time since I have posted anything. I have been busy chasing a toddler around the house, trying for a new baby, and doing a lot of learning about my parenting style, how it was , is, and what it will be!

I am excited to have *met* lots of like minded mommas out there who want to take a more natural approach to parenting. What shocks me is how not normal it is to parent in this manner.

People seem to look at you strange when you say you want to breastfeed past the age of 12 months, even though WHO recommends nursing for minimum 2 years.. (MINIMUM!)

http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/

People think it is strange to respond to a babies cries.. (that we are spoiling our children)

I find it perplexing that a mother could leave her child to cry! When we are programed to respond to our babies! That moms listen to so called professionals such as "Rabbi Shmuley" (YUCK!) instead of listening to their own instincts.

To read is Wacko's ideas- http://www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/Relationships/2006/07/Moms-Dont-Forget-To-Feed-Your-Marriages.aspx?p=1

gotta love how he views women as mere sex objects, and how dare our babies get in the way of that. Turning a "vagina into a MERE birth canal".

Anyways I will be posting more often, regarding my thoughts on parenting today..

**Bravery Update**

Bravery is 21 months old now and 24lbs. Shes got a 1000 watt smile, and is quite cheeky! She keeps me very busy. While chasing after her in the yard this week I slipped on some ice (Blasted winter!) and so when it came to bath time today I tried to bathe her in the sink.. Lets just say an almost 2 year old does not fit in the sink so well anymore. It will be our last "sink bath".

The adventure begins.

After spending 2 months in the NICU with my baby.. through countless ups and downs, such as Anemia, Braddicardias, Apneas, Edema, a slight blood infection, 2 months of gavage feedings, Jaundice..etc.. we got to bring out little princess home.. and the fun began!


Spending time with bravery watching her grow and learn new things is the most rewarding exciting thing I could possibly think of .. the first smile... rolling over .. holding up her head.. giggling. The fist time she went on the swings at the park ..seeing the look on her face, the joy, it was like experiencing all these things for the first time again...!


One of our favorite times is bedtime, not just cause I know peace and quiet is coming..but the bedtime feeding is such and intimate experience watching her look up at me with love and adoration..Even though we could never breastfeed (which broke my heart) I pumped breast-milk for her, for 4 months! Its honestly the best time of my life. I cant stop taking pictures of her cause shes purely and truly beautiful. I cant wait to see what will come next.!


First month

Second month

Third month

Fourth month